Side Effects

We've been sitting around and doing very little since last Friday afternoon, with small spurts of activity here and there.* While you might think this is quite a nice way to spend your time, there are unintended consequences, I've discovered. For instance, any activity whatsoever is really taxing, like "I could use a nap now" taxing. I just matched together three days worth of clothing to wear on our upcoming weekend getaway to New York, and am now utterly exhausted. And the two hours of snow shoveling earlier certainly didn't help either. I wonder if we're going to have to work our way to full days of doing every day things without totally wearing ourselves out.


*For posterity's sake: we had about 3 feet of snow dumped on us over the last 6 days. It was great, and then it was not so great.

Regarding Twitter

I don't really care if you're on it or not, but I am quite tired of people telling me that Twitter is boring. "I don't care what someone ate for lunch..." or "It gets old really quickly..." is frequently brought up to me.

Here's the thing: it's only as interesting as the people you follow and their updates. If your friends are boring, I think we both know whose fault that is. And it's not Twitter's.

Yeah, I KNOW, okay?

So a few of you have hinted that I've been more than remiss in posting the photos...which is totally true. I feel like I have perfectly good reasons for taking my time that I don't really need to explain - suffice to say, I am a busy girl that is looking forward to holidays. Holidays in which there will be no freaking soap orders to fill, or cookies to bake, or laundry to put away...all of that. Without further ado:

My sweatshirt, unworn:

Gina, posing:

Group shot, where you get my full ensemble.

Despite all the puff paint work, I think the furry Target socks are actually the highlight, no? Wella the puppy dog is clearly amazed at our holiday spiritedness. Note that my tinsel collar lasted about 15 minutes until the itchiness wasn't worth the kitsch factor at all.

I hope they lived up to the hype :).

Party Like it's 1985

So as you may have gathered elsewhere, Gina and I have embarked on a lesser known (these days, anyway) art form known as "puff paint." Now, we didn't just take this up as a hobby (but truly, I spend enough time at the craft store trolling for yarn that it's not all that far out as a possibility), but because we are invited to an after-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Party/Ugly Holiday Sweater Party. We tried to just buy some hideously Christmasy sweaters at Kmart, but alas, they weren't out yet. Kandi later informed me that they would be out after Thanksgiving had passed, or at least that's when her mother buys them. So file that away for future reference.

Anyway, since I do spend a decent amount of time at the craft store, and was the proud owner of many a puff paint sweatshirt in grade school, I decided that this was the best route for the both of us. And boy, was I right. Turns out, Gina and I are puff paint artistes. Which is actually rather tragic, because there is really nothing less useful than to be good at puff painting a shirt. I mean, of all the things to have been innately good at, I probably would have gone with something else. Like the violin, or maybe oil painting, or even tap dancing...but I digress.

All this is to say, the shirts are in progress, and pictures will be posted. I just have to sew the tinsel trim on, and mine's all finished. Yes, you read correctly. I challenge anyone to come up with a more awfully cheesy Christmas sweatshirt than Gina or myself. Gauntlet, thrown.

Vegas: The Portraits

(Ridiculously good-looking, even in a tiny hat)

( Step off my shoes! Don't make me come over there...)

(There's a subtle difference in being danced WITH and being danced ON)

(Lobster paws!)

I Don't Consider Myself to Be a Super Feminist...

From a review of the upcoming Sex and the City:

"This movie will give female audiences a jolt of excitement in the same way that seeing Indiana Jones back in action will thrill male audiences this summer. City’s obsessed fans will force their husbands and boyfriends to take them to see the flick before catching it another couple times in theatres with friends."

...but um, screw you, dude. I'd much rather see Indiana Jones. As would many others. Perhaps I'm being a bit thin-skinned, but I resent female audiences being lumped in with Manolos and vacuous sex-obsessed tv-show-take-off movies. You sir, can suck it.

Why Knowing Some History is Important.

(Original here, via Sean)

If nothing else, let the fact that others will think you're an idiot be your motivation.

Self-Tagged Meme - Soundtrack

No one tagged me for this, I just came across it while playing. But it's fun, so I'm going to do it. Clearly I have a penchant for listing songs, so you all just going to have to bear with me.

Here’s how it works:
1. open your library (iTunes, winamp, media player, iPod)
2. put it on shuffle
3. press play
4. for every question, type the song that’s playing
5. new question — press the next button
6. don’t lie

opening credits: "Almost Like Being in Love"- Gene Kelly from Brigadoon (Aw, love this song!)
waking up: "Walking on Broken Glass" - Annie Lennox (also my 4th grade jazz class warm up song)
first day at school: "Canceled Check" - Beck (er, no idea...good song though)
falling in love: "Never Gonna Dance Again" - Wham! (not so much)
breaking up: "Adding to the Noise" - Switchfoot (okay...)
prom: "Schlindler's List Theme" - Williams (seriously messed up, category wise)
life’s okay: "The First Song" - Band of Horses (spot on)
breakdown: "A Good Man is Easy to Kill" - Beulah (awesome)
driving: "We Got the Beat" - Go Gos (I could drive to this)
flashback: "Let it Snow!" - Bing Crosby (no more snow, please)
getting back together: "Save Me From Myself" - Christina Aguilera (appropriate)
wedding: Black Wave/Bad Vibrations - The Arcade Fire (not so appropriate)
birth of child: Coming Home - Caedmon's Call (I love this whole CD, so yes)
final battle: The Little Things You Do Together - Sondheim from Company (so great)
death scene: Rocket Man - Elton John (why not?)
end credits: I Ran (So Far Away) - Flock of Seagulls (lots of 80's...)

Kind of stupid, in retrospect. But then I already spent all this time typing, so it's going up.

Since I wasn't tagged, I'm not going to tag anyone either. Play along if you're feeling it...

2 bits, 4 bits...

I recently was sent a video on you tube that featured a woman explaining how to put on make up. The model appeared to be around 6, and the whole thing was part of some series about throwing a "modeling birthday party." Pretty stupid, if you ask me.

I was also recently working on compiling a little list (that will come by later, never you fear) inspired by this one. It's not as easy to do as you might imagine. While pondering moments that are truly happy standouts, especially when I was younger, I really remember unhappy ones more - times when I was sad or embarrassed.

For some reason I have a distinct memory of going to a particular birthday party. The party must have been for both a boy and a girl, because we were divided into groups. And what was the activity? Well, the boys played some sort of sport (baseball, maybe) and we were the cheerleaders. For real. They passed out little pom-poms and had cheers printed out for us, the whole works. I think I was maybe 6 or 7. To this day I think of it all with a little cringe. And I'm not entirely sure why, to be honest. Nothing terrible happened, and I actually don't have any problems with cheerleaders generally. Perhaps even at that age, I knew these were not my people. And not cheerleaders, because some of them are DEFINITELY my people, but maybe folks that thought a birthday party that introduced defined gender roles to first graders (with props!) was a good plan.

Things That Continue to Baffle Me About the East Coast

1. The fact that the mulch that is used by everyone from little old ladies to companies with sidewalk flowerbeds is really, really pungent and foul smelling. I know they don't have to use this stuff, because other places also mulch their flower beds with far less terrible odors.

2. The need for all drivers to back into parking spots as though some sort of quick get-a-way is imminent.

3. The incredulous response you will receive when explaining you'll be driving 3+ hours "just to get away for the weekend."

You would be shocked to find out how many people make it to my blog while looking for John Denver lyrics. Awwwwesooommmme.

Hmm

I have never participated in a strike. I don't really have much of an opinion on them, to be honest. I assume that the people striking feel that they have one or many grievances that need to be addressed, and that they would like to be taken seriously.

So why, I ask you, do they do very silly things while striking? I was also listening to NPR this morning on the way in (as I admit to doing every morning...my nerdiness was established long ago on this site, so no shame) they were covering the writers' strike in LA. And what do I hear in the background? Singing. And not just any singing...I'm thinking I've heard this before...ah, yes, the song from "Remember the Titans" (everywhere we go...people want to know...who we are...so we tell them...). Granted, one of the picketers probably wrote that song, but it still didn't come across as particularly dignified. And the chants are usually stupid too (hell no, we won't go!). I mean, really.

In DC, they have this huge inflatable rat that they camp out in front of the building where I assume the Man and his friends reside. But it's like a communal union rat, because I've seen this same rat all over town, and for different unions and causes. I wonder if the AFL-CIO headquarters keeps this rat and then lends it out, like a library book? I wonder if they'll let me check it out?

Just some Christmas stuff

I absolutely love the holidays. I do not, however, enjoy in any way the most of the holiday commercials. Most particularly, the jewelry commercials are wearing me out. Between the vapid "every kiss begins with Kay" to the stupidly named "Jared's Galleria of Jewelry" (this one, really, who knows anyone named Jared that they also would associate with diamonds? I've known many a Jared, none of whom brings to mind any sort of gemstone), I want to throw things at the TV. But they are EVERYWHERE, on the radio, on my computer...and most of it is really ugly. Guys, not that any of you read this for shopping advice, but just in case, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES buy the featured Christmas gift. They are all ugly, and it will not end well for you.

I'm still behind on my Christmas shopping, but progress is being made. I haven't had any particularly brilliant ideas this year, but I'm slowly working through what I hope will be meaningful gift ideas. I've still got some movies to see as well, to get me into the reminiscing that I so enjoy. These include, but are not limited to, Santa Claus: The Movie, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, and Babes in Toyland. I have already seen the Charlie Brown Christmas and White Christmas, so they're crossed off my list. Any other suggestions are welcome.

Mostly I'm looking forward to being away from my desk, which is currently involving things including, but not limited to, intellectual property rights, university administration, and natural disaster relief. But not all in the same project, thankfully :).

The Trip for Ginger's Wedding in Review

Flying: D-
I seriously had the most hellish trip getting from Philadelphia to Houston. The only reason flying didn't flunk entirely was that my trip home was uneventful (albeit a little tight, as I was in a window seat with two rather large people next to me, and they encroached on my seat space a bit). Getting to Houston involved being bumped off a flight, melting down at the ticket counter (at which some nice lady took pity on me and gave me her seat and some kleenex), hanging out on the runway for an hour, running low on fuel and having to stop in Shreveport, having mechanical problems in Shreveport and waiting there for two hours, and finally landing in Houston approximately 4 hours late. And then my taxi got a flat tire on the way to the hotel, which technically doesn't count as flying, but was a fitting end to the journey, I think.

Clothing: B
Mercifully after that trip everything in my luggage arrived on schedule, with nothing spilled or damaged (including my dress for the wedding, which I was stupid enough to pack in my checked luggage, but it all worked out). Unfortunately, the red dress for which I spent a great deal of time hunting in the spring ended up being a wee bit snug in the um, bosom area, so I was not the most comfortable person on Saturday night. I got a few compliments though, so apparently I was the only one aware of the squeeze situation.

Food: A+
I ate so well - favorites included my fish (trout with almonds) at the rehearsal dinner, Dos Salsas in G-town, and of course some good old-fashioned BBQ at Rudy's. I think the wedding food was pretty good too, but I wasn't all that hungry due to adrenaline and such. And the dress, as mentioned above, did not really lend itself to comfortable eating.

Book, Devil in the White City: A
Now I really, really want to visit Chicago. And am very glad I wasn't born in like 1880 or anything. If you like history/architecture/murder psychology, this is a good book for you too!

Amtrak Station at BWI: F
Seriously, BOTH of the elevators are out of service? Both? What the heck am I supposed to do with this giant suitcase and a freakin' sewing machine in a box, huh? Better yet, what do people in wheelchairs do?

People to whom I would send thank you letters if I knew their names and/or addresses:
Nice lady at the PHL airport
Two guys at BWI that helped me lug suitcases up and down the train station stairs
Taxi driver who continued all the way to the hotel on a flat tire
The people who invented champagne

Happy Marriage, Ginger and James!

Brr...it's cold in here

So after all of these ridiculous people COMPLAINING that it was way too warm for wintertime, the winter arrived. To the tune of a negative 6 wind chill. I cannot cope with this people, I just can't. Heat, particularly heat that is dry and desert like and not humid, I can deal with. This cold thing is not fun at all.

I'm trying my very best to winterize my wardrobe, but currently own maybe 4 things with wool in them. Everything else is cotton! Who would buy a wool sweater when they live in Austin? Not me! And now I regret passing by those incredibly reduced sweaters on the sale racks (because no one else would buy them either)...just think how warm I could be had I only thought ahead.

Yesterday people were going to walk to a nearby neighborhood for lunch, and asked if I'd like to join. My response was something along the lines of: "Are you out of your mind? I brought my lunch and will be staying where it is warm, until I am forced to go into the cold to go home. I will not voluntarily leave for any reason. ANY reason." And then these well-intentioned but looney people attempted to explain to me that it was SO much warmer now than it had been the day before. Yes, because the day before was the -6 day, and yesterday the high was a balmy 25. So I'm supposed to do what now, break out my flip-flops and t-shirts?! It's still freezing. The snow is still not melting. The wind is still painfully cold. Call me when it's 75.

Come ON, People

Right before I left on my cruise, my aunt asked me if I had a passport. Of course, I replied. I have studied abroad. I would like to be prepared in the event that I A) need to leave the country in a hurry, or B) find some incredible, last minute travel deal that is too good to pass up. Neither of which have occurred as of yet, but one never knows.

Apparently with all of the DHS and TSA and other annoying acronym-using agencies trying to weed out the terrorists, they are cracking on people coming in from Mexico and Canada who, until yesterday, could come in with their birth certificates. And these are only the people who are flying - everyone coming by car or bus or boat (presuming they are coming legally, of course) can still use their birth certificate or driver's license. All the experts are worried about the impact it will have on tourism, because passports are apparently prohibitively expensive (mine was $60 a couple of years ago...and in light of all the 13 year olds I see with iPods, I somehow find the expense argument a little hard to swallow).

So all of this is mostly to say: SUCK IT UP AND GET A PASSPORT. I find it disgraceful that so few Americans have them (around 20%, based on the range of statistics I could find). Get off your lazy asses and pretend that you have some interest in other cultures. Or at least in cultures that allow you to have a fruity drink with an umbrella (and just so you know, if you add an "o" to the English word, i.e. a "seabreeze-o", that's not Spanish). It's much better to actually interact with people from other places, but honestly, if you will even make it to another country, even one that is so white-washed you might as well be in Disneyworld, I'll take it. You have to start somewhere, right?

Oh How We Shopped

It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and unlike some others, we had avoided any sort of shopping on Black Friday. I like to sleep, for one thing, and also, I don't really need anything electronic, and most of the deals seemed to be in that general neighborhood. Plus I like to sleep. But I still had this shopping bug, so Gina and I decided to try it out on Saturday, when there would still (hopefully) be some sales, and maybe fewer people. Our game plan was to try Ross out for some cheap work clothes, run by Kohl's to look at a potential present for her mom, and then hit the big mall. We barely made it out of Ross.

So lucky were we at the first stop that we easily spent our quota in that store. Probably more than the day's allotted shopping funds, if we're being honest. This is where I'll confess a little something: I really, really like a good deal. It is ridiculous to have such a sense of accomplishment from getting a good deal on something, whether it's shoes or DVDs or coats or whatever, but I still love it. But Gina, she loves shopping more than even me. So asking her to take me to stores is akin to asking the alcoholic to take you to the bar - you know exactly how it will end.

We really did get amazing deals: great winter coat, gorgeous shoes, presents for others, smokin' little black dress (that one's Gina's...she also got shoes and lots more), but still...walking out with our trashbag-like sacks of stuff was a little out of control. To reinforce our sense of accomplishment we went home and got out the calculator to add up how much we would have spent had we bought the items for a retail price (which I of course would NEVER do...I can count on one hand the things I have paid full price for) and lordy, we each saved like $300. Good times.

We also did well at Kohl's, and had to stop there, because the mall would have been just too much and I also have to eat and such. Can't spent ALL the grocery money on earrings.

It's Okay, TJ's, I Still Love You

Did you know that the time between 5-6 pm is cranky old lady hour at Trader Joe's? I, myself, did not know this fact until today. But I now I certainly do.

Normally I go early on Saturday or late on a weekday, but got out of work a wee bit earlier than usual, and I'm out of coffee (aka sweetnectar of morning caffeine) so I thought I'd drop by. How could I tell it was said Cranky Hour? Well:

-Apparently the lines were WAY too long. Unacceptably long. And anyone wearing a badge, including the checkers that were working very quickly to get everyone moving, got to hear all about it.
-The clementine oranges (which I bought, by the way) were marked from California, when EVERYONE knows that the best ones are from Morocco [dramatically put out sigh].
-Anyone caught dallying in a place that might slightly inconvenience someone (read: everywhere) got to hear about it with fake politeness: "Um, exCUSE me, THANK you."

The bitching was truly endless. Maybe these people didn't get the laid back memo about Trader Joe's - I mean everyone in the place is freakin' wearing an Hawaiian shirt. The whole reason I go to places like that is to ESCAPE from you uptight, repressed DC dames. Curse you all for invading my clearly designated, laid back, granola-type space.

In other words, lesson learned, and am vowing to keep to my original schedule without variance. And to thoroughly enjoy my Californian clementines :).

Things at Work that Make me Laugh

My boss keeps lots of really high quality candy in her office for people to eat. People that come by to eat this candy often feel the need to rationalize their snacking to me: "I swear this is my last trip!"..."I only took one this time!"..."It's just to tide me over to lunch!" As though I am on chocolate consumption detail.

There's a guy at my office who A) is loud, and B) loves speakerphone. LOVES speakerphone. And he likes to bellow on speakerphone to his assistant, who sits quite close to me and who I can also hear when she talks on the phone. The result of all this is surround-sound phone conversations, generally about minor details of our job. But it's coming at me from every direction! There is no escape!

The way that we throw stereotypes about international types out with no shame whatsoever. You're probably thinking that it's a horrible thing to laugh at...but really, we have stereotypes for a reason, people. They started somewhere based on the way certain groups act. For instance (related to my job, anyway): Asians=very particular about details, Middle Easterners=very demanding and likely to treat you as their personal secretary/slave, Latin Americans=loud and fun, Eastern Europeans=sometimes surly (especially government workers) and like to drink a lot, particularly vodka. Now these of course do not apply across the board, and I have worked with very lovely people from each of these places. But I find it funny that someone will gripe about a project they're working on, and we always ask where the people are from. "Russia." "Ohhhh."

So I'm back from this long, rather unintended hiatus, to bring you all a list of what pretty much boils down to selfishness. In other words, things that I have found strange, and I wanted to share. If you participate in any of the following, this is your clue to never let me know, unless you want to be mocked:

-Couple profiles/email addresses: Seriously people, are you so much into the identity of being with someone, in a couple, proving that you do have a significant other, etc. that the idea of having something still all by yourself is too much to bear? I think the jimandalicesmith@hotmail.com-types are about the dorkiest thing ever. Ditto with any sort of profile, especially on places like myspace or friendster. The whole point is for it to be JUST YOU, not the both of you.*

-The other day, there was a big rainstorm here. I was taking the bus home, and of course didn't have an umbrella. I made it, damply, under the bus stop, to then fight for space with a women who had her umbrella open. Under the bus stop. Where there was no rain. She stood like that for 20 minutes, waiting for the bus, dripping on those around her. I know you might wonder that I didn't say something (and believe me, I thought about it) but then I was really curious to see if she would ever clue in. She didn't. So I took a picture of her, for mocking purposes:















If you know this woman (not that you could probably tell from the picture), please tactfully explain to her why this is ridiculous, okay?

-I'm currently cat-sitting for two very nice guy cats, Sterling and D'Artagnan. Their owners about as granola as it gets though - they even buy holistic cat food and organic kitty tuna. I think they might actually spend more on their cats than I spend on myself. I'm all for eating healthy, but these cats also regularly eat mice and birds, which they probably find hanging out near the trash cans in the back alley.

*This does not include, however, blogs that are shared amongst two or more contributors. In my world, that is more of a forum, and not at all the same thing.