I have a new website to play on. Things are better when based on a Monty Python quote. Perhaps it is fortuitous considering that "Spamalot" won for Best Musical last night. Whatever. I am beyond amused:
Dear Ask the Fish,
Why does everyone hate emo kids? Is it a cultural thing, or just inside the minds of the emo kids? If you don't know what emo is, find out for yourself. I'll tell you that it's a style of music, but that's all.
There have always been tensions between emo kids and the outside world, dating back to the enslavement of the Ebrews by the Num Et-Al dynasty. Anti-emotism as we know it today can trace its origins back over many centuries to the time of the early Christians, who blamed emo kids for making Jesus weep outside Jerusalem by playing him a Dashboard Confessional bootleg. The Middle Ages saw the onset of the Inquisition, during which emo kids were forced under pain of torture and execution to renounce the wearing of black hooded sweatshirts and other traditional garb. By the 19th century, widespread anti-emo pogroms throughout Central and Eastern Europe and Russia drove emo kids to seek refuge in the New World; many undertook the perilous journey across the Atlantic with little more than a journal and a copy of Pinkerton that "she" gave them. Anti-emotism currently manifests itself under several sly guises, most notably the social acceptability of the sentiment that Conor Oberst needs his ass kicked. So why does everyone hate emo kids? Some scholars attribute it to a fear of the Other. Others suggest that specific religious and political doctrines seize upon anti-emotism to further their own specific agendas. But mostly it's because emo kids write into advice columns and ask questions like "why does everyone hate emo kids?" Ask a question like that, and you've pretty much already answered it, you skinny t-shirt-wearing nancy.
For the specific "Ask the Fish" see here: http://www.alltooflat.com/serious/ask/
Main site is: http://www.alltooflat.com/
If you now think that I'm perhaps too odd for you to be my friend, that's okay too. I'm busy laughing myself silly anyway.