Scene: Approximately 6:00 am this morning, at a baggage security checkpoint in the DFW Airport.
Random TSA guy: Miss, do you have in firearms in your bag?
Me: [Blink. Blink. Blank stare.]
Random TSA guy: Uh, miss? It's not you, I have to ask everyone that...
Me: Um, what was the question? Oh...right. Yes.
Random TSA guy: Yes?!
Me: Yes. I don't have any guns.
Lucky for me I look about 12 years old with no makeup and the hair in a ponytail, otherwise I probably would've been cuffed and face down on the tile floor. Sigh.