To the nice little old Hispanic lady at the bus stop next to work: Please don't lecture me like I am an irresponsible 16-year-old for leaving my hat at home...I may be irresponsible, but I am 25 and my mother shouldn't be blamed for any stupid decisions I make that may result in me catching another cold. I saw the look in your eyes--"how did her mother let her leave without a hat?"--but my mother is in fact in Texas and unaware of just how ditzy I can be.
To the drunk homeless man at the next bus stop: Despite this face, which apparently says to strangers "Please approach me! I would LOVE to talk to you!", I did not want to hear about your philosophies on life and women, your sex life, or your woman, nor do I want to marry you myself. Thank you for the kind offer nonetheless, but please oh please, leave me alone.
To the man who sat next to me on the bus after the drunk guy followed me on: Thank you. You are a gentleman, and I am grateful.