Come ON, People

Right before I left on my cruise, my aunt asked me if I had a passport. Of course, I replied. I have studied abroad. I would like to be prepared in the event that I A) need to leave the country in a hurry, or B) find some incredible, last minute travel deal that is too good to pass up. Neither of which have occurred as of yet, but one never knows.

Apparently with all of the DHS and TSA and other annoying acronym-using agencies trying to weed out the terrorists, they are cracking on people coming in from Mexico and Canada who, until yesterday, could come in with their birth certificates. And these are only the people who are flying - everyone coming by car or bus or boat (presuming they are coming legally, of course) can still use their birth certificate or driver's license. All the experts are worried about the impact it will have on tourism, because passports are apparently prohibitively expensive (mine was $60 a couple of years ago...and in light of all the 13 year olds I see with iPods, I somehow find the expense argument a little hard to swallow).

So all of this is mostly to say: SUCK IT UP AND GET A PASSPORT. I find it disgraceful that so few Americans have them (around 20%, based on the range of statistics I could find). Get off your lazy asses and pretend that you have some interest in other cultures. Or at least in cultures that allow you to have a fruity drink with an umbrella (and just so you know, if you add an "o" to the English word, i.e. a "seabreeze-o", that's not Spanish). It's much better to actually interact with people from other places, but honestly, if you will even make it to another country, even one that is so white-washed you might as well be in Disneyworld, I'll take it. You have to start somewhere, right?

Last Night Was Fun

Someone said this to me, in front of a big group of people:

"I understand what you're saying, but I get sort of nervous when you're telling me things, because I feel that while you're talking, it's like your hands are also telling me something really important that I'm missing. Like your friend is drowning in lake and needs help. And I don't know whatever sort of crazy sign language you're using, so I'm letting the friend drown. And then I also miss whatever it is you're telling me with actual words, because I'm really worried about your friend." Hysterical laughter ensued. I'm a hand-talker, no apologies for that :).

We had some really intense U2 discussions. If you want to endear yourself to me in a quick fashion, just be able to discuss random U2 trivia, or obscure songs that only hardcore fans would know, or similar. I mean, I won't rule you out as a friend if you don't know a thing about the band at all, but an abiding love for all things U2 at the beginning of our friendship will get you big bonus points.

On the drive home, I heard a favorite song on the radio, which I promptly cranked up and sang along to. It makes me want a blue-eyed boy so at least half of the lyrics will be true. If you catch that reference, are a blue-eyed boy, and like really talkative girls that gesture wildly when story telling*... um, call me?


*I choose to believe that someone will one day find it charming and not annoying. We shall see...

Oh, little blog, I have been woefully neglectful of you. Often (well, every now and then) I think, "I should write about this in my blog" but then that thought is always followed by another, "Meh. I don't feel like it." And here we are, the entire month of December passed by with nary an entry.

I mean, stuff DID happen in December. I went on a cruise, which was pretty cool. And no, I did not get a tan because some things are just against the laws of nature. I did buy some fun things, and ate a lot, and was so relaxed by the end that my whole body felt like one giant noodle. I also went to my parents' for Christmas, which was great, albeit crowded. I ate a lot (again) and did some crazy power yoga with my mom and Sarah (and Holly and anyone else the yoga-crazies could rope into it). And when it was time to come back to DC, I was feeling a little mopey at having to leave my family and sad because they live so far away...but then I got back and was driving down Rock Creek Parkway (best drive in DC) and it opens up onto the Potomac River right next to the Kennedy Center, and I thought it was also nice to be home here too. So recent stats: heart is 2/3 in Texas, 1/3 still in Virginia. I'm such a dork. If only I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up - that might make future planning REMARKABLY easier.

So anyway, Happy New Year to you all. Hope you smooched someone fantastic, or had some champagne, or at the very least played dominos and drank red wine with your family like I did. It was a rockin' good time (with no sarcasm at all! Really!).

Oh How We Shopped

It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and unlike some others, we had avoided any sort of shopping on Black Friday. I like to sleep, for one thing, and also, I don't really need anything electronic, and most of the deals seemed to be in that general neighborhood. Plus I like to sleep. But I still had this shopping bug, so Gina and I decided to try it out on Saturday, when there would still (hopefully) be some sales, and maybe fewer people. Our game plan was to try Ross out for some cheap work clothes, run by Kohl's to look at a potential present for her mom, and then hit the big mall. We barely made it out of Ross.

So lucky were we at the first stop that we easily spent our quota in that store. Probably more than the day's allotted shopping funds, if we're being honest. This is where I'll confess a little something: I really, really like a good deal. It is ridiculous to have such a sense of accomplishment from getting a good deal on something, whether it's shoes or DVDs or coats or whatever, but I still love it. But Gina, she loves shopping more than even me. So asking her to take me to stores is akin to asking the alcoholic to take you to the bar - you know exactly how it will end.

We really did get amazing deals: great winter coat, gorgeous shoes, presents for others, smokin' little black dress (that one's Gina's...she also got shoes and lots more), but still...walking out with our trashbag-like sacks of stuff was a little out of control. To reinforce our sense of accomplishment we went home and got out the calculator to add up how much we would have spent had we bought the items for a retail price (which I of course would NEVER do...I can count on one hand the things I have paid full price for) and lordy, we each saved like $300. Good times.

We also did well at Kohl's, and had to stop there, because the mall would have been just too much and I also have to eat and such. Can't spent ALL the grocery money on earrings.

It's Okay, TJ's, I Still Love You

Did you know that the time between 5-6 pm is cranky old lady hour at Trader Joe's? I, myself, did not know this fact until today. But I now I certainly do.

Normally I go early on Saturday or late on a weekday, but got out of work a wee bit earlier than usual, and I'm out of coffee (aka sweetnectar of morning caffeine) so I thought I'd drop by. How could I tell it was said Cranky Hour? Well:

-Apparently the lines were WAY too long. Unacceptably long. And anyone wearing a badge, including the checkers that were working very quickly to get everyone moving, got to hear all about it.
-The clementine oranges (which I bought, by the way) were marked from California, when EVERYONE knows that the best ones are from Morocco [dramatically put out sigh].
-Anyone caught dallying in a place that might slightly inconvenience someone (read: everywhere) got to hear about it with fake politeness: "Um, exCUSE me, THANK you."

The bitching was truly endless. Maybe these people didn't get the laid back memo about Trader Joe's - I mean everyone in the place is freakin' wearing an Hawaiian shirt. The whole reason I go to places like that is to ESCAPE from you uptight, repressed DC dames. Curse you all for invading my clearly designated, laid back, granola-type space.

In other words, lesson learned, and am vowing to keep to my original schedule without variance. And to thoroughly enjoy my Californian clementines :).

Alright, ladies

I was chatting with my mom over the weekend (yes, she came in from Texas for what amounted to the most gorgeous fall weekend ever in DC) about my new discovery in skin care. I am, as I have perhaps previously mentioned, extremely cheap about things. I mean, I can spend money when necessary, but there is nothing I love more than a good deal, whether it be a sweater on sale or gas that is 3 cents cheaper than the station across the road.

So I have recently discovered that oldie but goodie product: Pond's Cold Cream. I have unbearably dry skin, which is just awful in the wintertime, and this stuff is great for it. Plus, it costs a whopping $5 at Target, which is just too cool. It got me thinking: which things do I consider my "secret" deals, and which things do I consider worth the splurge? Here's my list:

Things that are cheap but great nonetheless:
Pond's Cold Cream
L'Oreal Voluminous Mascara (seriously, this stuff costs like $6 as well, and it is AWESOME. I have puny eyelashes and people consistently ask me if I have fake ones on when I sport this)
Lubriderm lotion (okay, this isn't as cheap as some of the others, but I have yet to find an all-purpose lotion that works as good as this stuff does)

Things that I like to spend a little extra on:
Face masks (and really anything) from Lush (the masks are great - homemade, and work wonders - although it could be a placebo effect because I love everything they make* but whatever works, right? - and you smell so very wonderful from even being in the vicinity of the store)
Shampoo, conditioner, and Be Curly from Aveda (keeping the curls in line is totally worth the extra dough, plus it also smells so lovely)

Of course I am listing these things in the hope that all of you will chime in with your fabulous deals and such, because I would LOVE to add to my list. So, dish!

*Because I discovered the store while studying in London - over a weekend in Scotland, to be exact - and Lush has always had a special place in my heart since, although it is so very less coveted now that there are actually stores in the U.S. Things are less of a premium when you don't have to fly across an ocean for them...

A New(ish) Hobby

It's all Joi's fault, really. She (and her many crafty friends) are always making cute things and posting photos on their websites, and it makes me want to make stuff. There's also this side of me that really wants to make things that are tangible and do not deal with Microsoft Office in any way, shape or form. So when I went to visit Joi this summer, she taught me some basics of crochet. And then I went and bought a book, and now, in November, there is yarn all over my freakin' apartment (with apologies to Gina, who is a very nice and understanding roommate).

All of this is to say that, if I can get my act in gear, I might from time to time, show you guys stuff I'm making. So now you are forewarned. Also, this has led to conversations with other people who also do things with yarn (i.e. knit and/or crochet...there's a difference! I'm learning something new all the time!), so notice a new link to the right, so you can go and ogle the pretty things Ava makes as well.

My favorite passage from Everything is Illuminated*

The 120 Marriages of Joseph and Sarah L

The young couple first married on August 5, 1744, when Joseph was eight, and Sarah six, and first ended their marriage six days later, when Joseph refused to believe, to Sarah's frustration, that the stars were silver nails in the sky, pinning up the black nightscape...They remarried four days later...They were sixty and fifty-eight at their last marriage, only three weeks before Sarah died of heart failure and Joseph drowned himself in the bath. Their marriage contract still hangs over the door of the house they on-and-off shared...

"It is with everlasting devotion that we, Joseph and Sarah L, reunite in the indestructible union of matrimony, promising love until death, with the understanding that the stars are silver nails in the sky, regardless of the existence of the bottom of the Brod...agreeing to forget that Joseph played sticks and balls with his friends when he promised he would help Sarah thread the needle for the quilt she was sewing, and that Sarah was supposed to give the quilt to Joseph, not his buddy...ignoring the simple fact that Joseph snores like a pig, and that Sarah is no great treat to sleep with either, letting slide certain tendencies of both parties to look too long at members of the opposite sex, not making a fuss over why Joseph is such a slob, leaving his clothes wherever he feels like taking them off...trying to erase the memory of a long since expired rose bush that a certain someone was supposed to remember to water when his wife was visiting family...
accepting the compromise of the way we have been, the way we are, and the way we will likely be..."

*Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer, 2002.

On the way to work this morning (at about 9:45 am), I heard this line from a comedian who will apparently be featured in a show in the area:

"You know what sucks about the whole 9 to 5 thing? The 9. Seriously, am I a farmer?!"

To Do List

My friend Anne has inspired me: she has a goal to see all 50 U.S. states by the time she's 30. Really I don't care about an age deadline, but it would cool to check them all off. As of now, I have 21 to go:

1. Nevada
2. Oregon
3. Arizona
4. Massachusetts
5. Connecticut
6. New Hampshire
7. Vermont
8. Maine
9. Rhode Island
10. Kentucky
11. Ohio
12. Indiana
13. Illinois
14. Michigan
15. Wisconsin
16. Minnesota
17. Iowa
18. South Dakota
19. North Dakota
20. Alaska
21. Hawaii

Now, I don't define having been to a state too narrowly, except that a layover in an airport does not count. Driving through a state, however, does count. Not that that will help me much with Hawaii.

What are your random goals?

My life is spinning wildly out of control

I just realized that I'm going to be out of town for the third weekend in a row, and the thought made me want to break down and cry at my desk from despair. I doesn't help that I'm running on about 5 hours of sleep, because there's this long story about my flight being delayed from Seattle and having to spend the night in St. Louis with no luggage, and then to have my luggage arrive at 4 am this morning (via a courier who called my cell phone in the freakin' middle of the night to let me know he was downstairs), and then I couldn't really go back to sleep, and I have really bad sinus headache. And a lot of my stuff is still in boxes and our bathroom smells really funky and there's just NO TIME to deal with it all.

But then I realized that I don't have to work on Monday, and that thought made me so happy I considered tap dancing on my desk.

I'm feeling the strain of the emotional roller coaster - as I haven't felt it since, oh, we'll guess the age of 14.

Something you should know about me

I take immense pleasure in using a thread ripper to tear off obnoxious little bows that always appear on random clothing, particularly pajamas.

Also, I had pomegranates for dinner.

Things at Work that Make me Laugh

My boss keeps lots of really high quality candy in her office for people to eat. People that come by to eat this candy often feel the need to rationalize their snacking to me: "I swear this is my last trip!"..."I only took one this time!"..."It's just to tide me over to lunch!" As though I am on chocolate consumption detail.

There's a guy at my office who A) is loud, and B) loves speakerphone. LOVES speakerphone. And he likes to bellow on speakerphone to his assistant, who sits quite close to me and who I can also hear when she talks on the phone. The result of all this is surround-sound phone conversations, generally about minor details of our job. But it's coming at me from every direction! There is no escape!

The way that we throw stereotypes about international types out with no shame whatsoever. You're probably thinking that it's a horrible thing to laugh at...but really, we have stereotypes for a reason, people. They started somewhere based on the way certain groups act. For instance (related to my job, anyway): Asians=very particular about details, Middle Easterners=very demanding and likely to treat you as their personal secretary/slave, Latin Americans=loud and fun, Eastern Europeans=sometimes surly (especially government workers) and like to drink a lot, particularly vodka. Now these of course do not apply across the board, and I have worked with very lovely people from each of these places. But I find it funny that someone will gripe about a project they're working on, and we always ask where the people are from. "Russia." "Ohhhh."

THE RETURN

...of Guest Post Through Paraphrase!

Seriously though, my friends have all of these funny ideas and stories. But in the end it's always, "Hey, you should put this on your blog!" So here we go:

My friend (let me emphasize, my FRIEND, not me...you'll see why in a minute) has this friend that she's known since they were preschoolers in Sunday School. And because they are sort of trapped in a small town with few cool people to hang out with, they have been spending some time together at parties and such - I think she dog-sat for his parents while they were out of town too - little stuff like that.

So the other night following a margarita-themed birthday party, they were hanging out and visiting. He was telling some story about giving blood, and my friend is pretty grossed out by normal needles, much less big huge needles to funnel blood out of one's arm. So she was squirming and cringing and pleading for the story to be over, and he reached over and grabbed her hand. At this point, you could imagine it was a comforting, friendly hand grab, meant to reassure her that life would go on once the needle story was over. But then the topic changed to lighter things, and he kept holding her hand. And as my friend would tell you, she is quite the hand-talker - there is much waving and gesturing and such - so at points she would break free, but when she was done, he would grab her hand again. She was puzzled by all of this, and finally said to him, "Hey, it's kind of funny how you grabbed my hand to comfort me, but then you just kept right on holding it." In other words, "Look, dude, what exactly are you trying to do here?" And he sort of mumbled this, "yeah well, I just wanted to hold it...mmph...er...yeah" and continued to hold her hand.

Now this guy is a little on the goofy, artsy, emotionally-connected side of things, so the initial hand-hold could be overlooked...but the continuation? So strange. Finally she got up to leave, taking her hand with her. And that was the end of the hand-holding. But not the end of the puzzlement. What exactly was he going for there? Was he going to put on some moves? Was he just seeking the comfort of another hand? We may never know.

So I'm back from this long, rather unintended hiatus, to bring you all a list of what pretty much boils down to selfishness. In other words, things that I have found strange, and I wanted to share. If you participate in any of the following, this is your clue to never let me know, unless you want to be mocked:

-Couple profiles/email addresses: Seriously people, are you so much into the identity of being with someone, in a couple, proving that you do have a significant other, etc. that the idea of having something still all by yourself is too much to bear? I think the jimandalicesmith@hotmail.com-types are about the dorkiest thing ever. Ditto with any sort of profile, especially on places like myspace or friendster. The whole point is for it to be JUST YOU, not the both of you.*

-The other day, there was a big rainstorm here. I was taking the bus home, and of course didn't have an umbrella. I made it, damply, under the bus stop, to then fight for space with a women who had her umbrella open. Under the bus stop. Where there was no rain. She stood like that for 20 minutes, waiting for the bus, dripping on those around her. I know you might wonder that I didn't say something (and believe me, I thought about it) but then I was really curious to see if she would ever clue in. She didn't. So I took a picture of her, for mocking purposes:















If you know this woman (not that you could probably tell from the picture), please tactfully explain to her why this is ridiculous, okay?

-I'm currently cat-sitting for two very nice guy cats, Sterling and D'Artagnan. Their owners about as granola as it gets though - they even buy holistic cat food and organic kitty tuna. I think they might actually spend more on their cats than I spend on myself. I'm all for eating healthy, but these cats also regularly eat mice and birds, which they probably find hanging out near the trash cans in the back alley.

*This does not include, however, blogs that are shared amongst two or more contributors. In my world, that is more of a forum, and not at all the same thing.

Gastronomy: the art of living well

Ebony came to visit me these last few days, making it a nice, long food-rich weekend. We ate our way all through DC, North Arlington and even West Virginia. Ebony and I share a very important philosophy about vacationing: eating well makes every trip better.

Ahhh...

So let's review the goodness:

Dim Sum in Chinatown (enough said)
Wine festival, with acres and acres of vineyards backing up to the Blue Ridge mountains, and ten different wines to try
Ben's Chili Bowl: DC landmark that completely lives up to its reputation for the best chili half-smokes in the land
The brunchiest of brunch places in DC, with books to peruse beforehand, and pancakes and eggs benedict during the brunch hour...

...and the crowning jewel in our gastronomic adventures:
Lebanese Taverna (oh sweet wonderful essence of all things yummy...this was a GOOD meal): involving spicy stuffed baby eggplant, hommous with pine nuts, chicken shwarma, kibbeh yoghurtlieh, and Lebanese chilled white wine, served al fresco in the gorgeous summer air

Seriously, food does make all trips better. Served up with great company and some cooperative weather, and I didn't even need to leave home to have a vacation.

In seeing the new Superman movie, I have developed a little bit of a crush. It's not on Superman himself, although he is certainly worthy of a crush, but it's on a rather unlikely person. John Williams, to be exact. One of the most thrilling parts of the whole movie - the part where I decided I already loved it - was when the "Superman" theme began to play with the opening credits. The music is so amazing! And Mr. Talented Composer didn't just do this, no no no, he has done so many more: ET! Star Wars! Schindler's List! Raider's of the Lost Ark! Harry Potter! The list could go on and on.

I've noticed a trend lately (with myself) that inclines more and more to instrumental and/or classical music. It's really the background music to my childhood - if you dropped into my parents' house right this moment, they would have on the classical music station or a similar CD (assuming they're home, of course). And then there were 14 years of ballet lessons, all performed to classical music. This also has an interesting side-effect, in that I can hear Chopin or Grieg, and immediately my muscles want to launch into a barre routine. Frappes! Degages! Musical memory is a strange thing indeed.

Don't get me wrong: I still love my rock'n'roll and all the others, but there's something so soothing about music that is purely instrumental. You don't have pay attention to or be distracted by the words, because there aren't any.* It leads me to one of my favorite quotes, which I collect for moments such as this: "It is only that which cannot be expressed otherwise that is worth expressing in music." (Frederick Delius). Beautiful.

*I sort of lop opera music into this category as well, because there are words, but I can't understand them.

Things That Rock

Tomato, basil, and mozzarella salad (with hearts of palm)
Superman Returns
Tank tops
Oscillating fans
Plans to see a matinee on a Tuesday
No more rain
Federal holidays

Regarding the Warren Buffet big donation story:

His children will not inherit a significant proportion of his wealth. These actions are consistent with statements he has made in the past indicating his opposition to the transfer of great fortunes from one generation to the next. Buffet once commented, "I want to give my kids enough so that they could feel that they could do anything, but not so much that they could do nothing."

How wrong is it that I sincerely hope that this makes the Paris Hilton-types of the world wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night?

Fun new twist on an old, old forward-type thing

So I saw this on Danielle's and Babs's blogs, and loved it and decided to play along.

I know you're all disappointed that this isn't about my time in Huntsville, Alabama and Space Camp and all, but oh my dear lord there are photos to post so very soon...and they can be summed up in two words: taxidermy convention.

But back to the forward-thing:

Google your answers to the questions/topics and choose a picture from the first page and post it.*

Where I was born:
Where I live now:
My name:
My favorite food:

My favorite drink:
My favorite superhero:

My favorite smell:
My favorite TV show:
My favorite sport:

My pet's name:

My favorite color:
My favorite holiday:

My favorite vacation:

*Although I would like to add that I didn't exactly do this so much as run a Google image search and picked the one on the first row that I liked. I had good intentions, but it didn't really go very quickly and it was either search for images or scrap the idea entirely...