Sigh

Men's Health finds that D.C. has "the highest percentage of young, single, college-educated women" but is #2 in Rogaine sales and #2 in "the number of Cialis, Levitra, and Viagra prescriptions dispensed per capita."

For all you fans out there

In case you liked Napoleon Dynamite (and I sure did), you might be pleased to know that a "liger" is a real animal.

Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.

A little self-criticism

I finally saw Super Size Me last night, and yee-haw Texas, we apparently (at least at the time of filming) are home to five of the twenty-five fattest cities in America. Talk about special. I was not particularly surprised by this though, although I should also point out that we have a considerably larger land mass than most states so it stands to reason that there would be a few fatter cities than other states.

I have no great answers to this problem, nor am I going to attempt them here even if I did. Suffice to say, Texas food that I love and miss is not exactly stuff that anyone in their right mind would associate with health food. Some examples: Tex-Mex (all of it: chips and salsa, enchiladas covered in cheese and/or sour cream sauce, tamales, etc.), Texas barbecue (which is different from other types of barbecue, North Carolina for instance, in that you can throw any variety of meat on a grill and add sauce and VOILA! you have barbecued) with fixings such as potato salad (gobs of mayo) and white bread and other things that I am no doubt forgetting.

Here are some other ideas for top ten (or so) lists that Texas would totally win:
City with Biggest (and Blondest) Hair - Dallas, TX
City with Most Makeup - Houston, TX
City with Most Cowboys per capita - Lubbock, TX and Amarillo, TX
That's all I can come up with for now. However, I know you fellow Texans out there (in whatever state you might reside for the moment) will have more. Let's hear 'em!

Happy Hour

Best shorts from the night:

***

V: "Are you seeing anyone?"
Me: "No."
V: "Because you should see him!"

***

"I think that guy is checking T.J.* out."
"Which guy?"
"The guy with the scarf!"

*Male

Back in business!

For the past two days (until about 3 minutes ago) we did not have any internet access at my office. This makes my productivity run at about zero. My day generally consists of doing work and then breaking up the monotony in the work by checking my email, reading random news articles, playing yahoo! games, checking blogs, you get the point. Not only was I unable to do those things, but I was also unable to look up those small but annoying tidbits of information for which I heavily rely on the internet. What's a cheap plane fare from LA to DC? Which airline has the initials HP? What's the address for the Haitian embassy? I realize these things are probably available through other means, but I don't want those. I want my internet. And now I have it again.

How to tell it's just going to be "one of those days"

I bought a new sweater yesterday. It is yellow with green and blue on it, very springy...sort of like an Easter egg but I still like it. I decided to wear said sweater today, because it was new and I like to wear new stuff as soon as possible.

This morning I was lounging on my couch, sipping coffee before I left to catch my bus. I have been recovering for about 2 weeks from a serious sinus infection/cough, and the cough is still in fact with me in lesser form. But just as I took a big gulp, I had a little throat tickle which immediately turned into a cough and I then spewed a huge mouthful of coffee all down my front.

Luckily I was able to salvage the sweater, which I am currently wearing, albeit with some faint brown spots in places. Sigh.

My friend is famous!

I always enjoy it when my friends do or participate in cool things so I can brag about them. Everyone I know will also know about my other friends, due almost entirely to the stories I constantly tell about them. I always start with "my friend, Misty..." or "my old roommate, Daniela..." and continue ad nauseam until the worn out new friend will exclaim: "You can just refer to them by their names, I know who they are!" While I'm sure it can be annoying at times, I feel that it's really an early introduction: all of my friends kind of know each other before they even meet in person. So really I'm just doing a service and connecting cool people with one another.

So on that subject, I have a funny story about my friend Sarah. Sarah is my friend from high school (well, really junior high but I choose to forget those years ever occurred) and was my partner in searching for direction when I was trapped in my hometown after grad school and couldn't find a job. And, ladies and gentlemen, Sarah is going to be on television! Why, you ask? Because the lovely people at ProActive have not only done lovely things for her skin, but they are flying her to San Francisco so she can share her success! I love this story. I love that someone can get nice skin and a free trip to SFO. Keep a lookout for the infomercials people, because THAT is my friend!!

On the other hand

There are days when I feel ridiculously more mature than people who are actually grown-ups, and should know better than to act like they do.

When will I be a grown-up?

I am still coming to grips with the idea that I might actually be an adult. That may sound a little strange, but considering there are many days when I feel like have all the social wherewithal and self-confidence of a thirteen-year old, it's not really all that bizarre. So I started thinking, what are the milestones, what really makes me a grown-up?

1) The ability to walk in high heels: Check (most of the time...). I've been pretty good with the heels since high school though, chalk it up to many years of ballet lessons. Although this morning I came very close to falling down the servant quarter-like staircase at work because I lost my balance and my hands were full.

2) Drinking coffee: Check. I probably drink more than is good for me actually. And I'm talking about real coffee here--I get up every day and grind it and brew it myself, I don't go to Starbucks and get some icky sweet creation that is more milk than coffee.

3) The ability to hear someone describe me as a "woman" without making a face: Um, no. I can't do it yet.

4) Knowing what I want to do with my life: No idea at all.

5) The ability to take care of myself: Debatable. I'm not much of a cook, although I can feed myself. I try to be responsible and save money and things, but then I see something cute and splurge. I owe a ton of money in student loans that I have barely made a dent in paying off.

6) Having a husband or child: Hah! Like I'm even close.

I realize this list is not exhaustive. Suggestions for additional criteria?

I've been really into these guys since Christmas or so. Here's some lyrical examples of why:

i'll be the grapes fermented,
bottled and served with the table set
in my finest suit like a perfect gentleman.

i'll be the fire escape
that's bolted to the ancient brick
where you will sit and contemplate your day.

i'll be the waterwings
that save you if you start drowning in
an open tab when your judgement's on the brink.

i'll be the phonograph
that plays your favorite albums back
as you're lying there drifting off to sleep.

i'll be the platform shoes
and undo what heredity's done to you:
you won't have to strain to look into my eyes.

i'll be your winter coat
buttoned and zipped straight to the throat
with the collar up so you won't catch cold.

-"Brand New Colony," The Postal Service

Now THAT'S poetry, people. I don't think there could be a song much more adorable.

In case you were wondering

To the nice little old Hispanic lady at the bus stop next to work: Please don't lecture me like I am an irresponsible 16-year-old for leaving my hat at home...I may be irresponsible, but I am 25 and my mother shouldn't be blamed for any stupid decisions I make that may result in me catching another cold. I saw the look in your eyes--"how did her mother let her leave without a hat?"--but my mother is in fact in Texas and unaware of just how ditzy I can be.

To the drunk homeless man at the next bus stop: Despite this face, which apparently says to strangers "Please approach me! I would LOVE to talk to you!", I did not want to hear about your philosophies on life and women, your sex life, or your woman, nor do I want to marry you myself. Thank you for the kind offer nonetheless, but please oh please, leave me alone.

To the man who sat next to me on the bus after the drunk guy followed me on: Thank you. You are a gentleman, and I am grateful.

I mean, seriously...

Now I'm pretty much as big of a U2 fan as they come. But this is ridiculous. An illustrious rock career that spans over 25 years does not a leader of a world financial institution make.